|
|
Monday, May 11th, 2009
| |
11:08 am - life right now.
|
Life has been hectic and I can’t seem to find the balance I used to have. When once I would turn to the written word to escape my issues or to relieve the stress of it, now I only seem to find frustration when I try to put words on page. Nothing comes out the way I planned and the more I try the more frustrated I seem to get. I’m engaged, almost two months now, and not even a month after I find my fiancé is being an idiot and doing things he knows will hurt me. my ankle is acting up again and I’m finding it hard to care about my health, let alone drag myself to the gym like I know I should. I miss my mother. And my sister. Destiny is about to give birth and I wont get to be there with her. And yet… things aren’t that bad. Yes, J and I are having a difficult time, but I know he is genuinely sorry for what he did (no, he didn’t cheat, just caught him on a chat program) and I know that things cannot always be easy. It wouldn’t be life if it was easy. I just wish I could find that peace I once had, the simple joy of curling up with a notebook, or a good book, and just let it all go. I’m tired.
current mood:  contemplative
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, October 5th, 2008
| |
3:40 pm - Updates on life and Novel
|
|
News in my world: Death and dying are painful things to witness. Watching a normally strong loved one fade from one visit to the next is like feeling the shards of their life slipping through your fingers, slicing through your emotions like tissue and leaving you tattered and frayed. My grandfather is not doing well. And I am not coping well. It truly hurts to see him so weak he can hardly walk. On to NaNo News: So, I have two character of my novel created, one of which will possibly be a Main Character, and another one that is still rather vague. The basic beginning plot was sort of worked out while creating the possible Main Character, but the overall plot is still very fuzzy. I know it will be an uprising, the steampunks trying to equalize power between the classes, but I don’t know if they will succeed, I don’t know if they will die, I don’t even know if the uprising will even achieve anything. But, little by little, as November creeps up on me, I am creating a world for the characters who have come forward and asked to be written. I think 'Lefty the bomb tech' will be my favorite side character, as he will have a few roles to play. I also have a general location in London for all of this to take place. O.o I'm really looking forward to getting started! The fundraising site is http://www.firstgiving.com/ClockworkChaos NaNo site: www.NaNoWriMo.org
current mood:  creative
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
| |
11:36 am - National Novel Writing Month... yes, again. :)
|
So, this November I am yet again participating in a much loved, much feared, and a thus far unconquerable even (for me at least). I know, I know, no one wants to read about me and my failed attempts… but seriously. November first starts the “30 days of literary abandon” known as National Novel Writer’s Month (NaNoWriMo.org), where the truly insane, or utterly crazy, attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days time (that’s 1,667 words a day, every day, for 30 days. Yeah. I told you I was nuts). Also, this year I’m attempting to raise money for The Office of Letters And Light, the non-profit that hosts NaNoWriMo, Script Frenzy, Young Writer’s, and several other wonderful events that inspire thousands of writers, young and old, across the globe to finally write their ‘someday’ novel. How am I raising money you might ask? Through an event called the Write-A-Thon. That’s right, I write, others pledge. The fundraising site is http://www.firstgiving.com/ClockworkChaos (Clockwork Chaos is the tentative title of this year’s novel) and in the next month or so I will spiff it up and send it out in hopes of raising some money for a group that has given me inspiration and much amusement. NaNoWriMo is celibrating their 10 year, and my goal is to raise 10 times that number… yup… $100. I also plan on posting bits of my story here, as well as random rants and stories about the Chaos of NaNo, and some bits on my fundraising progress. Wish me luck. I have a month to finish getting ready and get the word out, so I’ll need all the luck (and caffeine) I can get.
current mood: creative
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, August 4th, 2008
| |
10:39 am - The hammer.... is my peinis.
|
|
| Saturday, March 22nd, 2008
| |
3:24 am - Saying goodbye
|
|
Though expected, its still painful. My maternal grandma passed this past Wednesday. I’m tired, trying to keep busy, and really not in the right frame of mind to talk about it just yet. I miss my family. I hate crying. i feel... worn thin, and to... *sigh* i cant talk yet, not ready. Here’s the obit: Alberta B.Kenniston BANGOR - Alberta Barnes Kenniston, 85, died March 19, 2008, at her home. She was born July 9, 1922, in Appleton, the daughter of Albert F. and Ada M. (Wadsworth) Barnes. Alberta graduated from Crosby High School, Belfast, in 1940. She worked for Warren Telephone Co., prior to her marriage to Raymond David Kenniston, Jan. 1, 1948. After her children reached school age, she worked for Eastern Maine Medical Center. She loved family and her work with people. Alberta enjoyed nature and especially the ocean. She looked for a peaceful solution in every situation.
She was predeceased by her husband, Raymond, in 2001. Alberta is survived by a sister, Alice Macquarie of Brimfield, Mass.; a brother, Donald Barnes and wife, Susan, of Spokane, Wash.; daughters, Anne Kenniston of Rockland, Marcia Keene and husband, Mark, of Copley, Ohio, Miriam Buckley of Bangor, and Dawn Chambers of Bangor; seven grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren, and other family and friends.
A funeral service will be held 1 p.m. Saturday, March 22, at Brookings-Smith, 133 Center St., Bangor, with Pastor Ron Morris, pastor of Glad Tidings Church, Bangor, officiating. Friends may call noon until the time of service. Interment will be at Mount Hope Cemetery, Bangor. Gifts in her memory may be made to CancerCare of Maine, care of Healthcare Charities, P.O. Box 931, Bangor, ME 04402-0931. Psalm 91, Malachi 3:16, 17.
current mood:  morose
|
|
|
| Monday, March 17th, 2008
| |
2:22 pm - ***happy-flail***
|
Oh joy! Oh GLEE! OH HAPPY DAY!!!! The Appartment is OURS!!!!!
J and I put in our applications for a 2 bedroom appartment and I JUST got word that ITS OURS... *SQUEE!!!*
now... we have 10 days to pack his place and i have 12 to finish packing mine. but still. ^ . ^
current mood:  ecstatic
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, March 11th, 2008
| |
10:31 pm - First Bento Box Lunch ^. ^
|
|
Well, I have been drooling on LJ's BentoLunch group and on Cooking Cute and Lunch in a Box for months now (I have even bought a few bentos) but never seemed to have the time to do a full bento. Today I took the day off, woke up early and decided that my Dear J needed to have a good lunch for work.
(more details and closer pics here http://www.flickr.com/photos/92588856@N00/sets/72157604101811241/ )
His smile was awesome! He's got pleanty of snacks and some good food. Cant wait till he gets home to see how he liked it.
current mood: bouncy
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| |
2:42 pm - Best Boyfriend ever
|
|
So, Sunday was my birthday and i was bumming cause by 8pm that night my mom and fave sister had yet to call me, and it seemed that i would be going home to an empty apartment to eat my strawberry short cake (that i made for myself) and go to bed alone. Well, i get home (Jasper's apartment, yeah, havent slept at my place in nearly two months now) and the door was unlocked. so i started to freak. i cautiously opened the door, held my bag firmly in hand to beat someone over the head with, turned the corner and there is Jasper, With a grin on his face. On the counter in front of him was a container of Ben and Jerry's Ice cream, with candles in it ('i couldnt find an ice cream cake so...') a bunch of flowers and the SIms 2 Deluxe game. My mom ended up calling on Monday, *sigh* i love that woman.
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008
| |
5:25 pm - Just... wow.
|
|
"Heath Ledger found dead in NYC (taken from Yahoo.com http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080122/ap_en_mo/obit_ledger ) By TOM HAYS, Associated Press Writer 11 minutes ago NEW YORK - Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at a downtown Manhattan residence, and police said drugs may have been a factor. He was 28. NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said Ledger had an appointment for a massage at the Manhattan apartment believed to be his home. The housekeeper who went to let him know the masseuse had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m. The Australian-born actor was nominated for an Oscar for "Brokeback Mountain," where he met his wife, actress Michelle Williams, in 2005. Ledger and Williams had lived in Brooklyn and had a daughter, Matilda, until they split up last year. Ledger was to appear as the Joker this year in "The Dark Night," a sequel to 2005's "Batman Begins." He's had starring roles in "A Knight's Tale" and "The Patriot," and played the suicidal son of Billy Bob Thornton in "Monster's Ball." Ledger grew up in Perth, and began doing amateur theater at age 10. At 16, he moved to Sydney to pursue an acting career, quickly landing TV movie roles and guest spots on Australian television. After several independent films and a starring role in the short-lived Fox TV series "Roar," Ledger moved to Los Angeles and costarred in "10 Things I Hate About You," a teen comedy reworking of "The Taming of the Shrew." Offers for other teen flicks came his way, but Ledger turned them down, preferring to remain idle than sign on for projects he didn't like. "It wasn't a hard decision for me," Ledger told the Associated Press in 2001. "It was hard for everyone else around me to understand. Agents were like, `You're crazy,' my parents were like, `Come on, you have to eat.'" His latest role was in "I'm Not There," in which he played one of the many incarnations of Bob Dylan — as did Cate Blanchett, whose performance in that film earned an Oscar nomination Tuesday for best supporting actress."
cant even begin to articulate...
current mood: crushed
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
| |
8:21 am
|
|
| Monday, April 10th, 2006
| |
9:09 am - Understanding has dawned
|
So, I'm sleeping again. mostly. It seems that when my mind doesn't want to deal with things...it avoids them at all cost. that very same 'survival instinct' (if that's what you want to call it) actually appears to have been the reason for my insomnia. so in the end, yes, I was doing it to myself. My mind was so busy avoiding the fact that April 6th marked 1 year since Sally died that when they day dawned bright and clear I took one look at the calendar and gave up. I slept for about 13 hours that day and every non work day since. my body hurts from my minds effort to catch up on missed sleep but I finally have a clear head and an easy smile that doesn't border on hysterical. it is amazing what we do to ourselves without even truly understanding why were doing it. :shakes head::
all in all I am well. still tired, but the energy is returning.
Love to you all.
current mood: optimistic
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
| |
9:23 am - Birthday Musings
|
"What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning
The end is where we start from."
T S Eliot - Little Gidding, V - The Four Quartets
My life has come to an unusual place. A place of ending and of beginning. I look around me and see the people in my life, mostly stable and healthy, and I hope they are happy. After all, happiness is key. It seems that this, my twenty-fifth year in existence, is a time of reflections, endings, and beginnings. Why have I waited so long to forge ahead in life? fear, uncertainty, doubt (of myself but mostly of the world around me) and most of all indecision. What is it I want? what is it I need to feel whole, and happy.
I am rather satisfied with my life. I have learned many lessons, been though many trials and thankfully I have come out whole with a minimum of damage done. I can honestly say that I regret very little of what I've done in my life, and am looking forward to new adventures.
But as I look forward to my up coming birthday I cannot help but think of those I have lost, those who will never reach this milestone, and those who will not be there for mine. My thoughts are ever on Sally right now, knowing my little sister is also coming upon her first birthday without her mother, and I feel a little selfish in my tears. I know my mother is still alive and well, but I miss my step-mom. My Julie, who has been gone for far too long, would be turning 22 this year. Travis and Stu, my Grandpa K, Laz... too many gone from my life.
I'll stop now, gonna go get coffee and try to smile today as I work my shift and deal with co-workers. May peace come to us all.
current mood: contemplative
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 27th, 2006
| |
11:51 pm - emiT Twisted.
|
(I blame Eliot for this.)
Time within time is without depth.
Without measure time is timeless
Past Present and Future are nothing
And everything.
In a moment of stillness they are one,
Combined into bliss. Satisfaction, completion
Perfection.
The wither of time stops in that moment
And the bloom never dies
That moment becomes eternity
And eternity becomes the moment
Never changing, never ending
Lasting forever
But only existing now.
A breeze sweeps away the memories
That the mind long ago forgot
Because only in time can time
Be remembered.
Without time, time itself is meaningless
For there is little meaning without time.
current mood:  quixotic
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 13th, 2006
| |
6:11 pm - For all you Flogging Molly fans out there!!!
|
For all those Flogging Molly fans out there, a quick heads up:
Flogging Molly is going to play at the Masquerade on Saturday February 25 at 8pm. Tickets (in advance) are $18.
www.masqueradetampa.com
I hope to be there and with any luck, you will be too. :)
(in other news...yes, I am alive. Just quiet. LOL)
current mood: bouncy
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Monday, December 26th, 2005
| |
11:13 am - Army Spc. Christopher "Travis" Seal - RIP 12/21/2005
|
(sorry for the depressing entry but i needed to post this somewhere)
Below is an article from the St. Pete times. Chris Seal was a friend of mind from high school who will be missed by all who knew him. our thoughts go out to his family and loved ones.
Car crash in Germany takes life of soldier; [SOUTH PINELLAS Edition]
ALEX LEARY. St. Petersburg Times. St. Petersburg, Fla.: Dec 24, 2005. pg. 3.B
Copyright Times Publishing Co. Dec 24, 2005
Army Spc. Christopher "Travis" Seal offered his girlfriend the front seat as he headed to an airport in Germany to catch a flight home for Christmas in St. Petersburg.
She refused.
You'll be cramped on the plane for hours, she told him.
A short while later, Seal and the driver, a fellow soldier, were critically injured after the car crashed into a truck on the autobahn during bad weather. His girlfriend was treated and released.
On Wednesday, four days after the accident, Seal, 24, died at a hospital in Frankfurt, Germany. It was to be his first Christmas home in five years.
"As usual, he was going to surprise me," said his mother, Barbara Estes. "He said he was coming home the 19th, but really it was the 17th. Christmas was always so special for me and the kids."
Seal graduated from Pinellas Park High School in 2000 and then enlisted, wanting to follow his brother-in-law, an Army captain. He served with the 272nd MP Company in Iraq from March 2004 to March this year and was up for a one-year deployment to Afghanistan early next year.
"It's devastating. These kinds of things aren't supposed to happen," Seal's older brother, Charles Cox Jr., said Friday. "We always thought if this day ever came, it was because he was killed in battle. Not because of this."
Details about the driver were unavailable from the Army on Friday. The driver was severely injured but survived, Cox said. The man's family is from Gulfport, Miss., and had been displaced to Maryland after losing their home to Hurricane Katrina, Cox said.
The Army flew Cox and Estes to Frankfurt on Sunday, where they visited the hospital. Seal was on a ventilator, and doctors said the left side of his brain was not working.
"There was no hope," Estes said. Nine and a half hours after the ventilator was disconnected, Seal died.
"He had the greatest smile in the world," Estes said, near tears. "I was very proud of him. Very proud."
Popular and outgoing, Seal worked at the Albertsons on 54th Avenue S during high school and spent his free time on the water. Had he not gone into the military, he probably would have been a captain of a charter fishing boat in the Keys, family said. He volunteered for service in Afghanistan so he could buy a boat.
"That was always his dream," said his sister, Ashley Lamm.
While stationed in Baghdad, Seal bought an Iraqi cell phone so he could keep in touch with his mother. "He was always so upbeat," she said. "I don't think he wanted to worry me too much."
He was proud of his apartment in Mannheim, Germany, which was decorated in beach gear, and his collection of DVD movies, 363 in all, she said.
Funeral plans are pending after the return of Seal's body from Germany. His roommate will be the military escort, and his girlfriend will attend, too, Estes said.
"She felt totally guilty for sitting in the back seat," Estes said. "I told her right off that this is not her fault. This was a horrible, horrible accident."
Alex Leary can be reached at (727) 893-8472 or leary@sptimes.com.
current mood:  indescribable
|
|
(1 comment | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
| |
11:42 am - Love this! (its Chaos)
|
 Oh Great Cthulhu!I have been an extremely sedulous devotee this year. Yesterday, I bombed a cultist gathering (-100 points). In May, I recruited ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cc_the_wolf as a new cultist (30 points). In November, I prepared an ocean voyage to R'lyeh (200 points). In August, I sacrificed langthorne to Cthulhu (500 points). In April, I burnt my copy of the Necronomicon (-75 points). In December, I visited my relatives in Innsmouth (100 points). In short, I have been very good (655 points) and deserve to get hooked up with one of those cute Innsmouthers. Your humble and obedient servant, lordesschaos
Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!
|
|
(comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
lordesschaos's journal